Dead 2 M.E.:
posted 2019-07-22 12:46:15

Iím trying to be more understanding and less judgemental, but if you think the last episode of game of thrones was good, I donít respect your intelligence and question if you have any at all, or care for any other opinions you may have.

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posted 2019-07-21 14:35:10


    reply by beautifulagony
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posted 2019-07-20 17:23:02

Sometimes it's better to have a relaxing weekend where I don't do anything interesting, than to further exhaust myself after a long workweek. This is one of those weekends.

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posted 2019-07-17 23:55:00

Today I worked the morning in the electroshock unit of a psychiatric floor of a major medical center, and friends, let me tell you, it was activly boring.

I failed to get an IV established on a guy with pipes thicker than The Dean's dick,(major anxiety issues, workes out a lot, had weird GI symptoms under stress, huge arm vein I managed to blow) - this was kind of pathetic. For a clinical site that carries as much cultural weight as an electroshock unit, I was bored.

I'd wondered why the electroshock wandered over to the other side of the unit on monday at like 2 in the afternoon and spent like two hours just dicking around. Now I know.

Honestly, I liked my psych rotations. I'm going to the high acuity floor next week. We got alarmed in today- it was the one exciting thing that happend, all the psych people have PINs (little locator devices, basically a panic button) where that location gets swarmed with like 15 people. They had like six people on this dude on the upstairs floor, behavior techs pinning him to the bed while the RNs got the four point restraints on him while another RN eventually got the shot in his arm.

His tox screen was totally clean. he's mostly catatonic with minimal verbal hallucinations, until you offer him the drugs that make all that go away, and then he gets really not catatonic.

That was the one exciting thing that happend.

Thing is, I'm not sure I want to work in a place where it's like 12 hours of mostly boredom with like 7 minutes of physical violence. Shit like that is why I don't play games like Silent Hill.

The psych unit folks on their own are ok, to hang out with and talk with, many of them. One dude has been schizophrenic for decades. It's a chronic medical condition. With drugs, the voices are indcipherable murmurs. WIthout drugs, it gets bad. He's into his 60s, worked on a shrimp boat most of his life, now kind of homeless. Got robbed, had no drugs, checked into the ED. I'm kind of concerned that he's old now and getting institution-freindly. Like he's got no place else to go.

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The Dean:
posted 2019-07-17 20:19:27

I drive the manliest truck on the road. Its mere presence intimidates other drivers into submission.

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posted 2019-07-16 16:54:12

I now have 3 kayaks.....i may be obsessed.

    reply by atrocious
       reply by Loudsilence
    reply by Epigenetic
       reply by Loudsilence
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posted 2019-07-15 20:11:28


    reply by Dead 2 M.E.
    reply by Epigenetic
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posted 2019-07-11 02:12:43

Trying to sleep, but I just can't.

I made a huge mistake at work and it's been haunting me.

Two weeks ago Friday I was auditing and found something I had overlooked. I verified the mistake and went directly to my boss to report it. I know I should feel good about 1. Finding my own mistake and 2. Instead of trying to hide it to cover my ass I reported it, but I'm having a lot of guilt about the fact that it even happened at all.

I know it happened because I got a huge influx of work and the thing I missed just fell through the cracks. This is a pretty big failure. One of those "my biggest fear" failures.

I'm honestly just feeling defeated in everything because of this.

Why do I even try?

I'm just going to be terrible at everything.

I'm an idiot, waste of space.

I'm useless.

I've been seeing a counselor to help me through my difficult time at work. She thinks I should consider leaving my position. I've been unhappy there for a long time. My position has affected my home life. There's been a lot of boundary issues

My husband thinks I should stay because I am well liked and I have a lot of freedom there (which could change). He thinks I would be miserable anywhere I go.

I also make very good money there. I wouldn't make anything close to what I make there if I left.

I feel like I've fucked up my life so bad. I should be happy, but I'm miserable.

I could really go for some good things to happen. I don't know what I'll do if things don't turn around soon.

    reply by Suffocating
    reply by Epigenetic
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posted 2019-07-10 19:46:45

I remain deeply mystified by my friends who complain about significant financial worries while simultaneously telling me theyíre trying to get pregnant.

Welp, time for more gin.

    reply by Epigenetic
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posted 2019-07-10 06:09:02

"Stop me running from the things that could save my life"

Preparing for another round of starting again and being resolute.

This has to stop.

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