posted 2021-11-20 22:24:27

I started talking to one of my ex boyfriends a few days ago. I guess he broke up with his long time girlfriend and just needed a friend so we’ve kinda been venting to one another about where our lives ended up. The more I tell him about my life & the way things go around here, the more he tries to talk me into leaving. It’s really showing me that I need to stop making excuses for my fiancé and the way he treats me. My ex (let’s call him Nate) has such a positive way of thinking and he’s shown me more support in 3 days via text message than my fiancé (we’ll call him Brandon) has shown me in like, 6.5 years. Which is sad. We’ll see what happens.

Brandon has invited his parents to our house for thanksgiving. His mom has told me in the past that when she’s a guest in someone’s house, she literally starts “grading” them from the second she walks in the door, points deducted if it takes too long to be asked if she’d like to take a seat, points deducted if she’s not offered a beverage in what she’d consider to be a timely fashion, etc. So I’ve basically been having one LARGE panic attack for the last week or so, which I don’t expect to end, and I’ve already burned through most of this months Xanax prescription. I know I’m being a baby. Believe me, I’m making myself sick. Buuuuuut she’s the only mom I have now. I’m trying not to care. I can cook, I can make a damn good meal & cheesecake & whatever else, but definitely not to her standards. This is the same woman who insisted on buying an industrial strength slushee machine for mine & Brandon’s wedding so we could make wine slushees. She’s extra and expects everyone else to be too.

If there’s anything I’m not, it’s extra ANYTHING. Haha.

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