posted 2019-07-11 02:12:43

Trying to sleep, but I just can't.

I made a huge mistake at work and it's been haunting me.

Two weeks ago Friday I was auditing and found something I had overlooked. I verified the mistake and went directly to my boss to report it. I know I should feel good about 1. Finding my own mistake and 2. Instead of trying to hide it to cover my ass I reported it, but I'm having a lot of guilt about the fact that it even happened at all.

I know it happened because I got a huge influx of work and the thing I missed just fell through the cracks. This is a pretty big failure. One of those "my biggest fear" failures.

I'm honestly just feeling defeated in everything because of this.

Why do I even try?

I'm just going to be terrible at everything.

I'm an idiot, waste of space.

I'm useless.

I've been seeing a counselor to help me through my difficult time at work. She thinks I should consider leaving my position. I've been unhappy there for a long time. My position has affected my home life. There's been a lot of boundary issues

My husband thinks I should stay because I am well liked and I have a lot of freedom there (which could change). He thinks I would be miserable anywhere I go.

I also make very good money there. I wouldn't make anything close to what I make there if I left.


I feel like I've fucked up my life so bad. I should be happy, but I'm miserable.


I could really go for some good things to happen. I don't know what I'll do if things don't turn around soon.