posted 2018-01-22 23:14:33

Everything in my life is going great.
Couldn't be happier.

Except love.

I've been seeing this guy off and on for 3 years.
"Seeing" meaning "fucking."
I suppose I am expendable to him.
I'm not worth a date.

I've never had anyone make me feel so badly about myself that I cry.
I think a part of me keeps going back because abuse is my comfort zone; what I am used to.

Its like I subconsciously WANT to feel like a piece of shit.
I left a couple great guys because they were wanted to be "official."

I've done this to myself.

Instead, I will slip to the bathroom after sex and cry like a little bitch.

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