posted 2017-12-28 14:33:42

Had a a dream that i got super fat.. it was really damn goofy looking,like donald Trump mishapen fatness. Felt super bloated, i was at an airport or something with some conglomeration of the different asian girls ive dated recently, i was holding on to the fact that at least i hadnt gone back to smoking or drinking, then realized i had just drank that morning without realizing i wasnt suppose to. All these fears bundled up.. i think i also like maxed out all my credit cards and emptied my bank account. Basically all the worst shit for me. I had to poop and ended up at thia gas station and everything was filthy and covered in shit, and one area there was a window looking in on the toilet that anyone in the store could watch you, i still wouldve done it had the toilet not literally been over flowing with feces. Strange dreams man.

My pup arya.. i dont think I've written about her yet, shes like 9.5 months old now, i got her in june or july i can't remember, shes been great, but expensive as fuck and a big stressor for me. I'm always feeling guilty trying to make sure she is getting the attention she needs and being cared for properly. Christmas eve she made it into my neighbors yard and found a bag of rat poison.. ill just make a long story short and say i spent a lot of time at the vet and it cost me like $500, on top of christmas presents that were like $400, and my general lifestyle thats been a bit excessive and I'm just continuously running myself further into debt.

Vipassana.. 10 days of silent meditation, no reading, writing, cell phones, tv, exercise, just meditation and eating the food they prepare for you which will be all vegan and vegetarian.. I was on the waiting list for jan 17th to jan 28th, now I'm in if i can make it work with my business. Scared, excited, etc.

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